Tuesday, November 12, 2013
I'll Take It!
There are some things in life that you wait a long time for. Today I had a glimpse of the work God is doing in my daughter’s life.
When children have suffered abuse and neglect they don’t see new adoptive parents as the blessing they have been waiting for. Instead they visualize you as another enemy that needs to be neutralized. That may seem like tough words to describe my kids but it’s fair to say, some of my kids have been really tough.
You give and give and give…then you give some more; all the time receiving nothing in return. Actually you do receive something. You are on the receiving end of swearing, hitting, tantrums and full blown attempts to push you into a state of emotional collapse. Add to that, false allegations of abuse that your child makes to child protective services (their attempt at neutralizing you). Then add their suicidal and homicidal attempts that make the professionals in their lives wonder what you did to cause their distress. Top it off with prosecutors, judges, jails and locked prison cells; achievements mothers don’t dream of. Instead you hold onto the knowledge that God has a plan and a purpose even when the journey seems like a walk into darkness.
It wasn’t always that way. I remember with fondness the day my daughter joined our family. Spitfire would be an understatement of her personality. I was warned with subtle comments from the social worker. “She is quite the Diva and I’m so glad your husband is good at home repairs!” Her first bedtime consisted of her destroying her room that I had so carefully decorated and listening to her scream, “You will never be my mother!” I, wise woman that I was, banged my head on the door frame asking God, “What have we done?”
Years passed. My little one moved on. On to residential facilities, failed treatment homes, hospitals, respite homes, group homes, the list goes on. Born an addict, to an addict, her first four years consisted of living in twelve foster homes, many of those abusive. I was able to actively be her Mom for the next seven years. I say actively because those were the only years she was able to live at home where we could show her she was loved; precious to God and to us.
Today's letter to my daughter,
Honey, five years have passed and there have been many, many more placements for you. Today was a day that I will remember as fondly as the day you arrived in our home. Today you sit in a jail cell: it’s not a surprise that you are there. We had a phone conversation and I was surprised by your tone of voice. I have not heard you speak in a calm tone for years. Your words were measured and filled with tears; you asked me to be your Mom today. You acknowledged the pain and anger you brought into our home. You thanked me for never giving up on you. You asked me to be your Mom today. Did I say that already? Yes! You also said, "I love you"
Wow, I know God has walked with you when we could not. We have prayed for you and will continue to pray that God will complete His perfect work in you. Today is a day to rejoice. I know tomorrow will have its challenges but for today, “I’ll take it” I’ll take your invitation to be your Mom and with God’s help I’ll be just the Mom you need.
I Love You too Honey,
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
To my readers; Don’t give up…God is at work…even in the darkness.