Time flies - I've had health issues that took first priority over blogging but things are settling in to more of a "normal" routine. The kids have been off school this week for spring break and Monday they head back. AW got his college acceptance letter and I celebrated my 49th birthday. My kids made sure to let me know that I am old! I told them that I am only one day closer to heaven.
I've been busy planning our summer. We have made lots of camping reservations. I love to camp and so does everyone else. We sold our pop up camper and have purchased an expandable trailer with a bathroom and tub. Here is our camper:
We knew we could not continue camping and bathing AJ in a tub on the picnic table. Not only is it not the cleanest way to help his wounds but it was quite the sight for the neighboring campers. AJ and I will appreciate the privacy.
Thanks for praying for Melanie. She is no longer in critical condition but still has a long way to go. You can keep up with her progress by checking
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/melanie
I've asked myself a lot of questions when thinking about Melanie and how I would deal with AJ in a similar situation. I want to think I would handle it as my faith directs me but it's hard to imagine since I have not walked in those shoes.
If you have a child with a serious or terminal illness, have you wondered if you will know when to "let them go"? I would love to hear your thoughts if you feel like commenting. I know that this life does not have a strong hold on me and I look forward to life beyond. I wonder how AJ will feel? I know I want to raise him with the confidence that this life is not what we live for - instead we are living for eternity with our savior.
That brings up a difficult question. How far do we push medical science to keep our bodies alive? As a parent, how far do we push to keep our children alive when they live in daily suffering? I definitely don't believe in hastening their death and I know that I would always provide food and hydration but what else? When do we say no more and allow ourselves or our family members to move into the fullness of what God has prepared for us?
I Corinthians 2:9 (New International Version)
However, as it is written;
"What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived"
the things God has prepared for those who love him.
I know I want AJ and all of my children to know about heaven and have anticipation for living there. Not that he will not be encouraged to live to the fullest here on earth but if our faith is real, shouldn't we focus on what is ahead? Do we want to take the notion that the world has - this life is it and we need to squeeze everything out of it that we can get because there is nothing more?
I know life is precious and I also know that God has set the number of days that we will live here.
Job 14:5 (New International Version)
A person's day are determined;
you have decreed the number of his months
and have set limits he cannot exceed.
I believe that suffering and blessing has a place in our lives. I want my life and my death to bring glory to the God I serve. I also want the same for AJ. I pray that I can be a mother that directs him to the cross and the hope in the resurrection. What a great thing to think about as Easter approaches. It's not about death, it's about His (Jesus) resurrection. He is risen and that makes all the difference for us. Now to live like that - not clinging to this world but instead with one foot already in the door of heaven.
John 11:25-26 (New International Version)
Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life.
The one who believes in me will live,
even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me
will never die. Do you believe this?"
Barbara
